


Dying Not as Yourself (alternatively, How Elias Dies With Ibarra's Philosophy in Mind, and How Simoun lives With Elias' Own)

by thisisashittyusername



Category: El Nolibusterismo, Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: M/M, all u see is me and u bb, bukkunkun's thing tho, creds, elias is so fucking gay, elibarra is love elibarra is life, ibarra is 25 minutes too fucking late, just borrowed it heyaa, mahirap magaral ng ganito, masakit basahin kasi ang pangit ng pagkakagawa, masakit pare, o well yolo, simoun is elias' philosophy with ibarra's body and experience, so fricking canon over here, that is true, yeah i may have used elisa again as elias' twin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 10:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3484805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisashittyusername/pseuds/thisisashittyusername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elias dies, one of his last words to Basilio being, "<i>Mag-aral ka-</i>"</p><p>Crisostomo dies in Noli, only to be reborn as Simoun- a man who may have had the same face, but an entirely different perspective of life: he lives as a subversive.</p><p>Don't you find this almost ironic?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dying Not as Yourself (alternatively, How Elias Dies With Ibarra's Philosophy in Mind, and How Simoun lives With Elias' Own)

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I’m not too good with using present tense. I’m more of a past tense person. And I can't write dying moments worth shit. Oh, well. I hope it doesn’t affect the quality of the story whatsoever. :)

_Two days._ The boatman thinks to himself. _Two days, and he hasn't shown himself._

_Where are you, Ibarra?_

Waiting for almost a solid 50 hours, Elias sighs. He’s tired. Leaning against a sturdy tree, he clutches tightly at his bleeding wounds. He's certain he won't be so lucky as to see the next day.

And then he hears it.

Screaming. Loud, frantic screaming of that deranged woman- Sisa, was it? He waits a second more.

Then there is silence.

As he stares into the sky, enjoying what probably would be the last time he would see its blending colors, he hears a boy next. Elias shuffles in such a way that he could see him. And he does.

The boy is wailing too deeply _, too desperately_ , Elias thinks to himself, as he also sees the body of the boy's dead mother.

All too suddenly, Elias sees someone else- it is not the boy and his unfortunate mother on the ground, no, but rather him and everyone else who left him in this world. He sees it so vividly, _so mockingly_ \- the young lonely boy who cried and cried and cried with no one there to listen. Everyone was gone to him, everyone- Salome, Elisa, _Tatay, Nanay, Lolo, **Crisostomo**_ \---

"What are you going to do with her?" He hears. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize it was the sound of his own voice.

He looks at the boy and sees fright and unease marked into his features. He softens his gaze on the boy.

The boy stutters. " _Ginoo-_ I was planning on- on burying her-"

"In the cemetery?"

"I have no money, sir, and- and the kura will never allow me." The boy looks at him desolately, pleadingly. "If you would please help me..."

"I am... weak." He lets himself say, and what's the harm, really? It was true.

He's tried too hard to be strong. His weakness was catching up to him. Irony would only have it that it would be in the form of Crisostomo Ibarra, the man he was destined to both save and destroy.

He falls onto the ground. Basilio lunges after him, but to no avail.

"I am wounded." He continues. "It's been two days since I last slept, nor ate." How can he, when all he can think about is Ibarra, huddled in the boat and crying after him, (“Elias, no, **_you’re going to die_** _! Elias, come ba-”_ ) a bayong Elias placed so carefully on his head---

"Has anyone come here tonight?" He asks the boy.

The boy does not reply. They stare at each other.

"Listen to _me_." Elias starts, and scowls as he hears his own voice falter. "I will die before the sun shines its light on the land…"

He tells Basilio to walk to a certain place, look for wood, and burn their bodies- his and Sisa's-

He looks quick enough to see the boy's eyes watering at the mention of his mother.

_He is too young. Too young to be going through any of this._

The hopeful glance of his eyes, the dreams he had for himself and his family- all destroyed with the death of everyone he cared about- Elias sees this, and suddenly he sees Ibarra, Ibarra with his own tired eyes, with his hateful words, with his gorgeous lips curled to an odious glower, _Ibarra with nothing but revenge on his mind, Ibarra, Ibarra, **Ibarra, Crisostomo**_ **\---**

He coughs. Blood splatters onto the grass.

Basilio cringes.

_…Ibarra._

“There is money here.” He says, willing his lungs to stay inflated. “Dig here… you will find… gold.” He looks at Basilio as his body drops to the grass. “I want… want to help… you…”

He tells Basilio what to do. The boy cannot stop the smile on his face as he thanks him, and Ibarra’s all Elias sees now, Ibarra smiling, Ibarra talking about the bamboo shoot that doesn’t burn, _Ibarra talking about the school- the school---_

 _“Mag-aral ka---”_ he even commands- barks- at Basilio, and the boy nods dutifully- the boy is still thanking him.

 

 _'I hope it's for a good cause.'_ he thinks, despite the noise in his sight and in his brain, and bitterly he snorts- Ibarra's planned a school, Ibarra'sgiven his whole life, his whole focus on creating this school, for many little boys to be able to study and read and write, _but that dream is ruined now, it is destroyed, there can be no more difference to be made-_

_but, yes, Elias, yes, there is, and that one small difference, that one almost insignificant change,_

_the one who gets to fulfill Ibarra's dream-_

_is Basilio._

 

_Only Basilio._

 

Elias could almost cry at the unfairness of the world. That Ibarra, who tried so hard to give freedom to many children, would only have one to continue in this planned path.

 

But he hopes this makes a difference, hopes that even in his dying breath, in his last moments, _he was able to do something Ibarra would've wanted him to do- fuck his standpoint, fuck the revolution, fuck everything- **as long as this is Ibarra's will, he will follow it-**_

 

_Suddenly he cannot see anything anymore, it is all white, it’s too bright, dammit, everything **fucking** hurts, make it stop, **make it stop,  makeitstop, makeitstop, Crisostomo---**_

And it all levels out.

 

There is no pain anymore.

 

When he opens his eyes, Elias sees Ibarra smiling at him, holding him in his arms. He's tucking his long hair behind his ear.

“Elias,” he says to him gently, before smiling at him.

 

Elias smiles back.

\---

"Elias-?"

The man draws back as tears trail down his cheeks.

 

Ibarra arrives a few hours after Elias dies.

 


End file.
